Alas Smith and Jones

Football supporters (crashing plane) / Opening titles / Introduction - Mel adlibs ("knickers!") / Day centre for ugly children / Police firearms procedure / Blow the Wind Southerly (drama with microphone booms in shot throughout) / Vorsprung Durch Technik (car crash victim) / Home made video - Eastbourne / Bergicoat low fat paints / Don't drink paint (warning) / Arts Review - the irritable young men (John Upstart) / Head to head - jury duty / Open University physical chemistry course (unpleasant shirt) / Sprakken Ze Afrikaans / Achmed and June / Temporary faults / Money discussion / Actor's idol / Speeches (erection) / End Credits / Deutsche Direkt