The Ranch

Once so popular youngsters return, after a lot of wandering and a lot of illusions poorer, back to the old nest to try again there. Hearing briefly what The Ranch is about would almost make you think the series symbolizes Ashton Kutcher's career. What happened to the sitcom's crown prince, who seemed to have the whole world at his feet during his time on That 70's Show? With the exception of a few decent films and a reasonable substitute for Two And A Half Men, it never really came out. Always have the feeling that his name is bigger than his honors list and I'm afraid The Ranch won't change that. I wrote “I'm scared”, but I actually meant “I'm 100% sure The Ranch isn't going to change that”. My God, what a cringe-worthy vehicle this new Netflix 'comedy' has become. I thought Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt had hit the bottom line, but there was apparently some extra space in the basement. Colt was that guy all the girls wanted to feed with, because as a quarterback on his college team, he could throw the ball very far away. Colt wasn't the brightest of the bunch. Why explain the Pythagorean theorem if you have a golden right arm? Colt doesn't have to be a heart surgeon, he's the new Joe Montana (I had to google this because I think American Football is really stupid). When after fifteen years of muddling in the football margin it turns out that that right arm alone is not good enough to make it to the big league, an upset Colt decides to return home. At home, on his father's farm in Colorado, he soon finds himself up to the shoulder in the ass of one of the pregnant cows. Is that right arm still good for something? “So you just pay your rent by watching series? How good is that ?! ” I hear it regularly. I usually nod my head slightly apologetically, but as I struggled through the first season of The Ranch last week on sheer willpower, I thought, "They should know." Life is too short for clams like this one. I don't know what hurt more, the barrage of devastatingly bad jokes or the intrusive laugh track that invades your living room over and over again. Maybe it was the complete lack of chemistry between the cast, because they are way too busy playing ping-pong for the most corny one-liners. Now that I think about it, it could also be the completely worn out story of two people who actually belong together, but who take far too long to find out for themselves. That could be it all. But above all it is above all that feeling of pity. Ashton, how did you get it to the point where, along with those other ones from That 70's Show on a set made of plywood, you spit "jokes" that wouldn't even make it to Seth Gaaikema's shows. You hurt me Ashton. A lot of.

After Danny Masterson dropped out, I don't find much of it anymore.